#drug test chic
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erickakrightm · 4 days ago
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olaheubergerd · 4 days ago
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qwerty1221d · 4 days ago
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nylondickboy-blog-blog · 4 days ago
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alexissimsblog · 1 year ago
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930 Medina Studios 3br/1ba
A simple apartment reno for my "and they were roommates" savefile. Originally home to Austin Wentworth—the flat is now shared by him and two other buddies of his from high school/college.
I wanted to keep it simple, dark colors + greens with splashes of white/cream to fit all of their individual styles. I meant for this to be somewhat of a bachelor pad/hangout spot for their friend group so big open windows to let that natural light in was a must. Honestly, Medina Studios has some of the best lighting in San Myshuno.
Which is why I always have the lights off. There is one light in the living room but its a low light so it doesn't overshadow that natural sunlight :)
Download info under cut! ❥
PACKS NEEDED
growing together, highschool years, seasons, and bathroom clutter kit!
CC NEEDED
house of harlix - orjanic part 1
pierisim - MCM all parts
myshunosun - 2023 tranquil bedroom
clutter cat - sunny sundae part 1 (small candle)
sixam - artz living room (plant small)
novvvas - rahat set (eucalyptus plant)
myshunosun - 2022 dawn living
pierisim - david's apartment part 1
myshunosun - 2023 vanity nook
kaiso - rusti.co living
rvsn - back that glass up
harrie - coastal part 5
harrie - octave part 1
myshunosun - 2022 lottie
harrie - Kichen (nectar glasses)
pierisim - living room mini kit
charlypancakes - insomnia
Madame Ria - Basic Luxe Kitchen (plant 01 Fig)
rvsn - on cloud wine bottle
littledica - H&B wall curved tv
littledica - delicato lounge (focused on you wall light)
rvsn - sip sip hooray bar cart
redheadsims - nintendo switch
charlypancakes - miscellanea stuff pack
harrie - kwatei part 1
littledica - eco kitchen (ceramic farmer sink)
*after some testing please note that the update is causing the ceramic farmer sink from the eco kitchen collection to behave strangely for me. if you are also unable to wash dishes with it, please feel free to change it! :)
nickname - playstation 5
peacemaker - hamptons retreat
taurus design - lilith chilling area part 1
charlypancakes - lighthouse
pierisim - tilable kitchen
awingedllama - nostalgia living
sixam - home office (wall screen projector)
peacemaker - hudson bathroom (dynamic hamper)
myshunosun - luna bedroom
syb - fitness (boxing gloves floor)
syb - fitness (medicine ball)
peacemaker - kitayama bedroom
rusticsims- simple kind of modular life
MTS teknikah - amy's garden plants
syb - crossfit (gym bag)
zulf and hakrabr - lets get fit
syb - traveller
illogicalsims - home office
felixandre - florence part 3 (simowa luggage)
sixam - boho bathroom (botanical beauty stool)
house of harlix - bafroom
littledica - chic bathroom
pierisim - winter garden part 2 (i believe with the new update the windows will show up so yay)
OPTIONAL PACKAGES
zulf - bathroom kit becomes functional
basemental drugs - for ashtray
DOWNLOAD OPTIONS
EA ID: midsapphire
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dailyunsolvedmysteries · 2 months ago
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The Death of Liam Payne
The British singer and former One Direction member died this month at the age of 31 after plunging from a third-floor hotel room in Buenos Aires.
Staff at the hotel had requested urgent police assistance shortly before Payne’s death Wednesday, according to an emergency call obtained by CNN’s Argentine affiliate Todo Noticias. “We have a guest who is overwhelmed with drugs and alcohol,” the hotel manager said on the call. “He breaks things up. He is tearing the whole room apart.” The manager told the call operator that because Payne’s room had a balcony, “we’re a little afraid that he’ll do something.”
Argentinian investigators found what appeared to be narcotics and alcohol strewn about broken objects and furniture in 31-year-old Payne’s hotel room, leading the public prosecution to surmise Payne had suffered a substance abuse-induced breakdown around the time of his fall. The prosecution said Payne could have plunged from his hotel room balcony in a state of “semi or total unconsciousness”. A cocktail of drugs called “pink cocaine” – containing methamphetamine, ketamine and MDMA – had been found during a partial autopsy, along with crack cocaine and benzodiazepine. Both outlets cited anonymous sources familiar with the preliminary tests. Payne’s autopsy concluded that the traumatic injuries that caused his death were consistent with his three-story fall from the hotel window. Prosecutors have ruled out anyone else being involved. Photos purportedly taken from inside Payne’s hotel room published by local media showed snowlike powder left on a table and a smashed-in TV screen. Police also discovered a blister pack of clonazepam, a central nervous system depressant, and over-the-counter medications scattered among Payne’s belongings. Shortly before Payne’s death, the hotel manager called 911 to report a guest acting aggressively and under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Investigators are also trying to figure out who sold Payne the drugs he took at the CasaSur hotel in Palermo, a chic neighbourhood of the Argentinian capital. Police have taken statements from at least three hotel employees, as well as two women (reportedly prostitutes) who visited Payne’s hotel room a few hours before his death.
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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 2 years ago
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The Twelve Disciples Ch. 1
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Summary: Pepper Davis is not unknown to the mob world, she’s well aware of the benefits and dangers of this business, but what she’s about to find out is how dangerous it can be for one to stay in between a brother rivalry.
Pairings: Matt Jackson x OFC Pepper x Nick Jackson
Extra thank you to @writtingrose for being the beta for this first chapter
Warnings: +18
Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @letsgivethisonemoreshot , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @tahiri-veyla
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The gun nozzle ghosted over Pepper’s shoulder. Her intense gaze was fixed on the ocean outside their bedroom glass door. Nature seemed to mimic the chaotic rumble of emotions that was instilled in her the minute she heard the clicking noise of the gun being cocked behind her head.
This was madness, a silent suicide note. She knew the risks of his plan when she agreed to it. She knew her life would change forever as soon as she stepped foot inside his house. The only thing she wasn’t expecting was to die like this, by his hands. But then again, what else could she expect from him?
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Three years earlier…
The 12-D aka The Twelve Disciples were the biggest and oldest mob family in the West Coast area of the United States. Currently being ruled by their third generation, they were vastly known for their fortune and success in drug trafficking as well as prostitution and contraband. The family had partnerships all over Europe and Asia and gained their well-respected fame by being ruthless, merciless, and discreet in their business.
Their symbol was a shiny golden cross, with a crown of thorns at its base, symbolizing their victory over their enemies.
Their symbol was printed all over their products: drug packaging, guns, and even tattooed on their prostitute’s left temple. This was the silent sign and warranty that one was acquiring an authentic 12-D product.
Even though the family was involved in drug trafficking, none of its members consumed any kind of drug or alcohol and that was an important quality one should have before becoming a member of 12-D.
All of this sounded crazy to Pepper’s ears, and she remembered mocking Matt about it when they first met.
“What kind of drug lord doesn’t taste his own product?” She teased with a wicked grin as Matt’s face grew serious “One who doesn’t wish to end his own empire” He took a sip of his Perrier and pulled her closer to his embrace “My goal is to make other people addicted to my product, not myself. Grandpa used to say that a man who uses his own product is a fool. For he will either become his biggest client or his own bankrupt’. We have the right people to perform a quality test if you will, but neither I nor my family have used any of our stuff. And that includes you, little dove. I want a lover, a girlfriend, a friend. Someone I can talk to, not the burden of a potential client who’s looking for some free sample, are we clear?”
“I can still drink wine during dinner though, right?” Was her teasing comeback as Matt only chuckled and answered “Yes, you can, dovey” Before pulling her head down for a kiss.
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One year later…
“I don’t know, Matt. It sounds too dangerous” Pepper’s uncertainty could be easily picked up by Matt’s ears, which made him turn around to face the balcony, where she was currently looking for a lighter for her cigarette inside her handbag.
“You know I don’t like when you smoke. That’s not good for you” He stated, reaching into his pocket and fishing a lighter out of the fabric. Matt lit up her cigarette for her, and Pepper blew the smoke in the opposite direction of his face. “Well, too bad. Blame it on your stupid plan” Her hand shook as the white filter rested between her fore and middle fingers. Her brown eyes stared out the shore, watching the seagulls hunting their late afternoon snack before the sun went down.
“This is our last chance to finally take Nick out of the business, dovey. This will be beneficial to all of us in the future! For us to take full control of everything, we need to annihilate Nick for good” Matt’s hand cupped Pepper’s cheek, softly turning her face around so she could face him. “Help me, dovey. You’re the only one I can count on. Please, help me with this. Help me build our own empire”.
Pepper couldn’t believe she was agreeing to this madness. But when she found herself nodding back at Matt, she knew it was too late to go back now.
Now it was the time. In a week she would officially become Nick’s new personal translator and interpreter and she would have exactly six months to ruin his part of the business enough that Matt can take control as well as make him fall in love with her.
In a week she would cut off all ties with Matt and they wouldn’t know each other anymore.
In a week Pepper’s life would change drastically to the craziest and most irreparable nightmare she has ever lived.
In a week, Pepper would follow Dante’s steps up the Mount of Purgatorio, except unlike the character, she wouldn’t have Virgil guiding her through the path.
She would have nothing more than a vicious blue-eyed brother-in-law that was capable of the most horrid things. And that’s what she was afraid of, that instead of climbing up the Mount of Purgatorio towards the Paradiso, she would instead climb down back to Inferno. A place she would never want to go back to again.
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One Week Later…
Pepper checked her makeup in the rearview mirror one last time before finally stepping out of the car. She took a deep breath in to calm down her nerves a bit, the intense scent of recently cut grass made her head spin and her stomach turn - all thanks to the crippling fear that successfully installed itself within her as she rang the imposing mansion’s doorbell.
A kind middle-aged woman greeted Pepper and quickly showed her the way inside the house, towards Nick’s office. The white marble floor echoed the sound of Pepper’s heels across the enormous living room, until the women stopped at the dark, imposing wooden office door.
The older woman knocked twice before announcing their presence.
“Mr. Jackson, your guest has arrived”
Pepper’s eyes were met by the stern blue orbs that softened upon her view. Nick abruptly ended his phone call with a sigh and motioned for Pepper to take a seat in front of him before offering her a handshake.
“Would you like anything to drink? Water, coffee..?”
“No, thank you, sir”
With a quick glance at the older woman who stood by the door, Nick smiled “That would be all, Flo. Thank you”.
Once the elderly woman closed the door, Nick began “So, Mrs.” He took a swift look at the folder beneath his palm “Davis”. The new last name still took Pepper off guard from time to time, even though that’s all everyone called her for the past week - including Matt.
“I’ve heard wonderful things about you! Do you mind telling me a bit of your experience?”
“Yes, sir. I have a bachelor’s degree in both foreign language and business. I have worked for several multinational corporations in America as well as internationally. I also have over five years of active experience in the field”.
“And how discreet would you judge yourself to be, Mrs. Davis?”
”Discreet enough to perform my job without disturbing your business” She answered firmly “None of this is new to me, sir. I have worked with a few acquaintances of yours in the past, which is from whom I presume you took my references from”
“And why would you presume that?” Nick asked with a subtle smirk
“Because, and I say this with utter respect, Mr. Jackson. This is an illicit field, sir. I doubt you would call a company like TransPerfect to ask for my references”.
“Fair enough” Nick chuckled, undoubtedly amused and satisfied with Pepper’s professional yet brutally honest answer. “And remind me again which languages are you fluent in, please?
“Yes, sir. I’m perfectly fluent in a total of seven languages and they would be: Arabic, Spanish, Italian, Russian, French, German, and of course English. I also risk some Japanese and Danish here and there but they’re not listed as official languages in my file because I don’t have a proper degree in them”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive” Nick’s voice was filled with genuine admiration as he continued “If you agree with my proposition” He swiftly pushed the contract towards Pepper “You’ll have a schedule of 40 hours per week, divided equally between 6 days, which will give you a day off. You’re free to choose which day of the week is best for your day off as well as if you desire to live in a house or loft apartment we provide for our staff. Your salary would be equivalent to 250k per year-”. The enormous quantity made Pepper choke with surprise, causing a small cackle to leave Nick’s lips. But she managed to keep her cool while he finished explaining “If there’s a need for you to work overtime, that will also be paid aside from your monthly salary, and if for some reason I need your services during your day off, you’ll also receive extra for it as well as having another day of the week free and paid to fulfill for your lost day off”. He looked over at Pepper with a sly smile “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah,” She choked out “It’s a very generous offer, sir. And a lot to take in so suddenly”
“I understand. That’s why I’d like you to take your copy of the contract to further analyze it. Feel free to show it to a lawyer of your trust if you’d like to do so, but one thing I’ll ask is for you to stay in one of my hotels, at least until we have finished discussing your possible hiring. It’s for secrecy reasons”.
“Yes, of course”
“Great!” For some strange reason, Nick’s smile had a subtle hint of malice behind it “My contact - as well as my lawyer’s - is inside the contract in case you need further clarification and I’ll see you in, let’s say, three days?”
Pepper only nodded back before taking Nick’s hand in a goodbye handshake.
“Thank you for your understanding, Mrs. Davis. I’ll have a driver take you to the hotel”
“Thank you, sir. Have a lovely afternoon”
“So do you” Nick gave her a final goodbye as she left his home office door.
As she sat in the backseat of the comfortable Bentley, Pepper couldn’t shake the feeling that something felt incredibly wrong. She didn’t know what had made her so uncomfortable, but she would later find out, in the future, that this bad feeling was a silent omen for the tragedy that was yet to come.
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lilithfilm · 2 years ago
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Film Review: ATHENA
I recall my first trip to Paris as an adult. I went by myself, determined to make it for one week on a budget of 100 euros. I'd managed the feat, but for the purpose of this review I recall one specific memory, which was my train ride in from DeGaulle into the 1st arrondissement. From my childhood I'd recalled the over-the-top beauty and refinement of Paris, but as an adult I saw the real Paris on that ride, the suburbs of the city made up of its various banlieu, the endless housing projects for those who could only dream of affording a hundred square feet in the heart of the city. As the train stopped at the various stations in the suburbs, the residents who hopped on and off were the furthest thing from what we in America popularly identified as being "French." There were no Paul Belmondo, Alain Delon, Anna Karina or Jean Seberg types, no chic clothes, loose cigarettes dangling or berets. This population was distinctively African and Arab of all shapes and sizes, old and young. Again, by virtue of cinema and my favorite film of all time, LA HAINE, I'd had some idea of these communities, but it was through the sheltered distance of a movie screen. To be in the thick of these communities of immigrants, colonial castoffs and refugees is to be immersed in a vibrant, profoundly intimidating energy and flow, a balance of survival and freedom from situations that could have been assumed to have been far worse. The banlieu were covered in graffiti, peppered with cornershops and connected by public works, and there was a sense of global chaos, of disparate people from all over the world trying to scratch out an existence in a country that couldn't be more different than their motherlands. I found it invigorating, scary and comforting, as they reminded me of so many of the young immigrant families that I grew up with, my own included. 
It's these memories I carried into my viewing of ATHENA, puzzlingly categorized on Netflix as an "action thriller from France." Directed by music video enfant terrible Romain Gavras (son of legendary Greek filmmaker and rabblerouser Costa Gavras), ATHENA is a powderkeg of a movie that takes place over a single day in a banlieu of the same name. All is not well - in a scenario becoming all too familiar, a young Arab boy is killed by the police, and unrest is brewing in the central blocks of Athena as its residents are growing tired of the institutionalized violence against them. The felled boy has three brothers: Abdel, a French-Algerian soldier who pleas with his community to protest peacefully. There is Karim, the younger brother who despite Abdel's requests leads a violent insurrection against the police, demanding that the identities of his brother's killers be made public, and lastly there is eldest brother Moktar, a low-level drug dealer whose only interests are the preservation of his business and trade. 
The film - shot in a series of about a dozen breathtaking single takes - weaves in and out of the banlieu as the brothers straddle between anarchy and civility. A cast of hundreds and hundreds scramble through the labyrinthine housing project seeking refuge from the onslaught of the French police cracking down on Karim's army. As this is France, there are little to no firearms, and the residents of Athena repel the police with firecrackers, household items and appliances thrown from rooftops, and molotov cocktails. As the war endures, Karim shifts his strategy to capture a single police officer, a young rookie by the name of Jerome. This strategy pushes Abdel to the breaking point, as his allegiance to his family, his community and his country as a soldier are tested. 
First and foremost, ATHENA is not an action film in the American sense. There is plenty of heart-pounding action, but none of it - zero - is done for an adrenaline rush or amusement. This action is far too relatable and real - it's like being submerged in the countless riots that come in the aftermath of police shootings - and the uncut, fluid single shots put you headfirst into real time. There isn't any time to breathe in this film, and that's completely intentional. You're in the shit with these characters, and it's impossible to not connect with their struggles and conflicts. While one might argue the characters are somewhat one-note, there needs to be a reminder that the events of this film take place over one night, and so what we know of them is the same as we would in the chaos of that moment. Even with that, I felt there was enough development to generate genuine pathos, because we've all met these type of real people in our lives. 
That said, the film carries with it a beautiful sense of surrealism, each frame a violent painting of concrete, smoke, flesh and fire. It plays out like a Greek tragedy of warriors and peasants, brothers and enemies, all against a backdrop of warfare so compellingly strange that it feels almost alien. The technical execution of ATHENA is an absolute marvel, and it contains zero CGI. Because of that I'd place it above AVATAR 2 in terms of its technical grandiose and ambition, and it is executed flawlessly. The cinematography (shot in IMAX), the haunting score, the choreography and the performances are all first rate. If we're willing to give James Cameron a billion dollar reward for his technical ambitions, then I think Romain Gavras and his crew deserve two billion. It really is that jaw-dropping of an achievement, and I don't think we'll see anything like it for quite some time. The only thing keeping this film from being an outright masterpiece is the inclusion of a harbored terrorist, a plot device that feels forced and completely unnecessary, whose existence in the film is solely to facilitate the literal explosive climax. Handled with more nuance it would have worked, but the third act renders the character to a horrible and unnecessary cliche. But because it is so unnecessary to the plot it doesn't pull anything away from the film's brutal and profound impact, especially with the incredibly unsettling twist ending. A minor quip in an otherwise powerhouse of a film that has divided film critics straight down the middle, some calling it an essential commentary on our times and others saying it is a blueprint for anarchists seeking to burn society to the ground with their unresolved rage. I agree with the former - ATHENA is a punch in the face, a commentary on anger, barbarism, civility and communal love. It is a tragedy on an epic scale, and it left me breathless. I give it a strong 8.75 out of 10, and 10 out of 10 for its technical audacity. A staggering achievement, and my only regret is not being able to see it on a big screen in the theater; the compression of streaming brutally strips the imagery of its nuance and power. It must be a magnificent experience projected in a theater with pro sound, especially this stunning one-shot sequence, one of the best I’ve ever seen. Ever. Wow.
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redangeldragnet1982 · 1 year ago
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my reading list +_+
🍀=currently reading
🐜=on my bookshelf (locked and loaded)
🐜🐩On the Road- Kerouac
🐜🐩From Bauhaus to Our House- Tom Wolfe
🐜🐩The Subterraneans- Jack Kerouac
🐜🐩The Electric Koolaid Acid Test- Tom Wolfe
🐩 The Kite Runner- Khaled Hosseini
🐜🐩 Naked Lunch- William Burroughs
🐜🐩 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest- Ken Kesey
🐜🐩 Doctor Rat- William Kotzwinkle
🐜🐩 The Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
🐜🐩 Still Life With Woodpecker- Tom Robbins
🐜🐩The Dharma Bums- Kerouac
🐜🐩Slaughterhouse Five- Kurt Vonnegut
🐜🐩The Cat Inside- Burroughs
🐜🐩The Wild Boys- Burroughs
🐩The Fall- Albert Camus
🐜🐩 Dr. Sax- Kerouac
🐜🐩 Another Roadside Attraction- Tom Robbins
🐜🐩 Breakfast of Champions- Vonnegut
🐜🐩 The Sirens of Titan- Vonnegut
🐜🐩 Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates- Tom Robbins
🐜🐩 Timequake- Vonnegut
🐜🐩 Slapstick or Lonesome no More- Vonnegut
🐜🐩 The Kandy Kolored Tangerine Flake Streamline Baby- Tom Wolfe
🐜🍀 Totem and Taboo- Freud
🐜🍀 Society of the Spectacle- guy debord
🐜🐩 Even Cowgirls Get the Blues- Tom Robbins
🐩 Queer- William Burroughs
🐜🍀Junkie- William Burroughs
🐜🍀 Player Piano- Vonnegut
🐜🐩 On Dreams- Freud
🐜🍀 Woolgathering- Patti Smith
🐜🐩 Leonardo da Vinci and a Memory of His Childhood- Freud
🐜🐩 Diary of a Genius- Dalí
🐜🐩 Radical Chic & Mau-mauing the Flak Catchers- Tom Wolfe
🐜🐩Satori in Paris- Kerouac
🐜🐩The Pump House Gang- Tom Wolfe
🐜🐩Me Talk Pretty One Day- David Sedaris
🐜🐩Small Scale Subversion: Mail Art & Artistamps- John Held Jr.
🐜🐩 With William Burroughs- Victor Bockris
🐜🐩 Frank Lloyd Wright's Furnishings- Carla Lind
🐜🐩 Mauve Gloves and Madmen, Clutter and Vine- Tom wolfe
🐩The Hasheesh Eaters- Fitz Hugh Ludlow
🐜🐩Illuminations- Rimbaud
🐩A Season In Hell- Rimbaud
🐩The Color Out Of Space- HP Lovecraft
🐩Suspiria de Profundis- Thomas De Quincy
🐜🐩The Poetics Of Space- Gaston Bachelard
🐩The World As Will And Representation- Arthur Schopenhauer
🐩Correspondences- Charles Baudelair
🐩Les Champs Magnetiques- André Breton + Philippe Soupault.
🐩Geek Love- Katherine Dunn
🐩 Visions of Cody- Kerouac
🐩Scattered Poems- Kerouac
🐩The Holy Goof- William Plummer
🐩 Learning from Las Vegas- Robert Venturi
🐩 Complexity and Contradiction in Architecture- Robert Venturi
🐩 Desolation Angels- Jack Kerouac
🐩Drugs are nice- Lisa Crystal Carver
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ghostjelliess · 11 months ago
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My proudest moment of 2023:
I went back to MI for my cousin's wedding in November (we'll call her cousin A). I was supposed to go back in the summer but a surgery got moved up, so I couldn't go back until the post-op check-up, and that got moved at the last minute to the day before my flight, and involved a small but unexpected procedure. So I trudged back to a place I left immediately at 18 with a whole bag of drugs (amox and Ibuprofen mostly).
I knew I was going back as a kind of personal test. I've worked a lot on myself in the past few years and I hadn't seen my family in a while. I talk to my sisters all the time, but only one of us gets along with our parents. My older sister came home with me and all us sisters stayed at a sister's house. It was a sister party!
My fiance did not come with me, because I wanted to see how well I've recovered, and because he had work stuff, and we made a fun list of reasons he didn't come for the wedding reception. He has great taste and helped me, who is normally at my desk in flannels and a hoodie, hair in a bun, pick out the baddiest of baddie mafia chic outfits. It was a country wedding at the gun club I've been to a million times, and I flew in from Boston in strappy heels, a silk bustier top, and the perfect black pantsuit. I got so many drunk compliments from aunts and uncles that I really look like an East Coast girl now, I genuinely looked like I walked out of a Pinterest cover pin for some Wattpad GL story. My favorite part was when I told them my fiance picked out the outfit and the aunts got jealous cus their husbands would NEVER and the favorite uncles gave that approving nod cus they already liked him (we're going in 13 years), or my sister whining that I'm not allowed to out bi- her when I'm already engaged.
Okay, you've got the scene. I'm chatting with sisters and their girlfriends/husbands, and cousins, and we get sent to the home-made buffet line. One of my younger sisters is in front of me, I'm signing the guest book with her and her quiet husband, talking about hockey. We're squished in the narrow space between the long banquet tables and the guest book table, waiting our turn to enter the narrow doorway into the next room with the buffet. From the other end of the hall, cousin B begins walking our way.
Cousin B is the brother of cousin A, the only grandson out of 15 grandkids. He is my mother's godson. He [sa] @ssaulted me when I was 14 and I found out two years later that he @ssaulted my sister as well (the one standing in front of me). My family handled it poorly as parents (great as siblings, tbh). My dad holds a quiet grudge, my mom and everyone else in that family pretends nothing happened. When my fiance first met my mom's family, cousin B still tried to talk to me. I was like a deer in headlights. I was taking MMA classes and I was judging whether I could take him, we're a football family, but it was my Dziadzia's birthday. My fiance offered to punch him in the parking lot if I wanted (honestly, the sweetest thing he could have said at the time, and when I said no, he dropped it and offered to take me to another restaurant instead, what a guy). In college freshman year, my mom, fully aware of the assaults, was supposed to pick me up, but cancelled last minute and said Cousin B was on his way home from his own school and would be passing through to pick me up. I didn't speak a word, I was livid. Cousin A has said she thought my sister was being dramatic about the past, and when my sister invited cousin A and B to her wedding, she called me to explain that it was her choice and that she saw her forgiveness as a freedom, but she still got choked up and I think my mom convinced her. When I told her I am more spiteful and not inviting them to mine, she said "good." When cousin B tried speaking to me at the bar at her wedding, I was still trapped in those convenient social expectations and I didn't want to make a scene, I took my wines and left, but I felt sick. Shameless, all of them. I hated the pretending.
I knew cousin B was going to be there, with his wife and kids, the favorite because he was the only male in a traditional Midwest country family. I knew and my fiance knew, and I was dressed for the moment. Cousin B was walking toward us, that stupid plastic pretender smile on his face, empty cup in hand, and my sister's shy husband did the cutest thing. He stepped back just a few inches, so she was directly beside him, no longer in the direct line of sight, I dunno, it was cute. I don't see them much, so those little things mean a lot.
Unsmiling, I looked directly at cousin B, up, down, unimpressed. I didn't mean to, this was not a planned encounter, but apparently my expression was scary, like a dare my sister said, a psycho challenge, the "manifestation of the thumbs down emoji" according to another sister. I was disgusted and I did not hide it. I no longer belonged to the pretenders.
Cousin B stopped in his tracks, shuffled back a step, looked at his cup, back at me still staring, down at his cup, then turned and walked back to the dark side of the room, weaving awkwardly between the long empty tables with no excuses. I was not pretending, so he had no power. There was no shame in his face, but there was a hint of fear, and all I thought was good.
I told my fiance later that night, so proud of all the ways I no longer fit there, even though some were uncomfortable and others were sad. He said that's why it's called a power suit, and also that's why sometimes I'm scary to strangers. It's not always because I studied dead people, sometimes it's because I look like I could kill them and get away with it if I didn't hate having sticky hands so much. That's more or less a direct quote, and also one of many reasons why he is my fiance even though I think weddings are dumb.
It was still a rough trip. I found lots of cracks to fix. Coming back to Boston, I was all moody for three weeks, acclimating back to the direct communication and struggling against the ease of reading midwesterners so used to pretending. I still have a habit of hiding instead of pretending, but damn if that unmasking didn't feel good. Here's to more moments of uncomfortable authenticity in 2024, use those expressions, be the thumbs down emoji, boo people in public when they're mean, don't smile when you don't want to. I don't want to punch my cousin anymore, because laughing in his face was so much better, but I wouldn't hesitate to do it if he showed up at my wedding uninvited or walked toward my sister like that again. I may be balancing on the high road for now, but when you take away that pretender barricade, it's pretty easy to jump over the edge, slide down the ravine, and uppercut a loser still reliving his HS football glory days, and that's the kind of freedom and power I'm bringing into this year.
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vileintcnt · 1 year ago
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muse masterlist
this is going to be a huge post I'll add to as muses change where I just have a little bit about each muse and a few very generic plot ideas/concepts I have for each one that can be tweaked/built upon. you'll find them under the cut! :)
cassidy bardot ; influencer, vixen, disloyal, party girl, obnoxious, bitchy -> meet her match, give me cat and mouse, give me 'try not to fall in love', give me dad's employee, give me older married men
blaire bardot ; ice skater, strong-minded, competitive, innocent -> give me hockey players(!!), give me 'highest bidder gets a date', give me rivalry, give me smug assholes who she'd HATE, give me enemies to lovers, give me competitors who set off her bicuriosity
nola dempsey ; erotic novelist, charismatic, assertive, aloof -> tbc.
lana gilbert ; supermodel, party girl, luxurious, spoilt, dinner parties, vacations in the hamptons -> give me wild rich people truth or dare, give me billionaire sugar daddies, give me mile high club, give me married men, give me country club employees
natalie abbot ; trophy wife, lonely, hopeless romantic, husband-loathing -> give me harrison/charlotte's friends hitting on her, give me her trying to find her youth in a nightclub and your muse hitting on her, give me flashback threads, give me gala events, give me cheating on her husband
luxe farrow ; scream queen, charismatic, quick-witted, ruthless -> give me on set sexual tension, give me casting call, give me celebrity couples, give me SECRET celebrity couples
remi windsor ; professional ballerina, calculated, competitive, bored easily, bratty, intelligent -> give me all the older men, exclusively, give me married husbands, give me professors, give me politicians, give me parents friends, give me creeps/stalkers
valentina ferreira ; socialite, bitch, manipulative, gaslighter, troublemaker -> give me like sorority girl hazing plots, give me secretly in love with her best friend, give me cocky frat bros, give me sk8r boy
vivian greer ; investigative journalist. hardheaded, defensive, determined -> tbc.
charlotte abbot ; debutante. ditsy, flirtatious, oblivious, materialistic -> I want older men taking advantage of how airhead she is oop, bimbofication, give me date auctions, give me metalhead boys who know how to F U C K lmfao
brandy vega ; magazine director. impatient, confident, forward, dominant -> gimme interns that are in love with her, give me affairs with younger men, give me flings abroad
sawyer devlin ; farmers daughter. naive, innocent, adventurous, bashful -> i want city boys/girls to turn her life inside out, i want sneaking off the farm to go to a dive bar and meet older men, i want farm hands/working tourists flirting with her and making her all blushy and nervous, i want priests testing her faith, i want cute slowburn with the muse who works the coffeeshop she visits when her and her dad run the farmers market
luz montoya ; influencer. flirtatious, wildchild, materialistic -> tbc.
billie buffet ; ranch hand. cocky, sarcastic, wild, hands-on, impatient -> city boys/girls who have no idea how to work on a ranch being teased by billie, billie taking them to the nearest dive bar, lets fuck in the back of this random guys pickup at the bar vibes, sneaking around on the ranch, come with me i know a spot vibes
margot fletcher ; guitarist. manipulative, dorky, sarcastic, stoner -> omg I want moms give me all of the moms, I want margot convincing mothers that they’re goddesses who should leave their husbands, give me doting fans that she can seduce, give me best friends that fall into margot’s arms when their boyfriends are mean
layla fontaine ; singer. sultry, mysterious, chic, inherently sad, flirtatious, wise -> give me older male music producers that she immediately falls in love with, give me older men she can call daddy and write songs about, give me rockstars she would have grown up listening to that she can do drugs with now she’s famous
bowie romero ; rockstars daughter. angry, party girl, defensive, toxic, hopeless romantic -> I want all of the toxic relationships, give me Bowie smashing plates above their head give me flirting with other people in front of each other to piss each other off, give me ripping the hair out of any girl who dares look at her partner, give me best friends who like to talk shit about boys and then go down on each other
dixie gallagher ; waitress/illustrator. sarcastic, melancholy, irritable -> tbc.
martha rossi ; groupie. obsessive, shy, virginal, adventurous, soft -> okay I rlly want rockstars taking advantage of this sweet thing, give me her being handed her first joint/line, give me why don’t you come join me on the tour bus vibes, give me secret relationships give me her being sheltered from the press and growing more and more confident
penelope quinn ; singer. wild, upfront, party girl, suggestive, daring -> i want her to ruin the lives of sweet sensitive muses, give me all of the innocence for her corruption, give me nervous babbling as she sits on their lap give me all of the shy innocent shit, like peaches WILL talk your muses through it
claudia jagger ; tattoo artist/succubus+vampire au. creepy, seductive, hyper-sexual, excitable -> give me everyone susceptible to falling in love with a woman who’s excited to kill you ❤️ like i want her biting thighs mid sex and exposing herself as a vampire meanwhile they just thought she was a lil weird, give me priests omggg, like literally her demonic ass swaying a priest from the church i live
vanessa guerra ; crime wife. passionate, deviant, glamorous, suggestive -> give me bodyguards, give me her husbands biggest rivals, let her light their cigars and perch on their laps, or even like rp as her husband just give me debauch and dangerous, i want her being shown how to fire a gun i want ‘baby he looked at me wrong. kill him.’ vibes
bunny brandt ; ghostface. calculated, mean, condescending, sarcastic -> give me camp slasher vibes, give me omg it looks like we’re the last ones alive that’s so crazy wanna make out and grope each other before i reveal i killed everyone, give me summers working in dingy amusement parks/arcades, give me girls so infatuated and scared that they wanna help bunny with her fucked up ghostface plans
candace jackson ; pageant queen. ditsy, religious, flirtatious, naive -> okay i want pageant judges i want slimy agents i want priests i want older men i want mechanics with dad bods and i want graphic beer bottle experiences and just filthy bimbofication slutty threads for her oop
sofia dewi ; professional thief. manipulative, possessive, cocky -> tbc.
min-jae 'MJ' choi ; professional thief. cunning, irascible, violent -> tbc.
duffy boone ; waitress. shy, inexperienced, wanting, daydreamer, sweet -> I want cute slowburn shit pls, sneaking around so her strict dad doesn’t find out, picking her up on a motorbike to take her on a date, giving her all her firsts, getting her high for the first time just idk cute shit pls ty
farrah stanley ; stripper. materialistic, confident, seductive, bratty, mischievous -> “sorry I don’t have any money, I’ll make it up to you!”, give me rich men coming to the strip club, give me unexpected romance with a best friend she always thought wasn’t interested but has secretly been jacking off to her like his whole life, give me sorry can I borrow your shower? just debauch porn plots basically, I want her to catch her best friends dad jacking it into her panties, or omg is that my friends dad on the other side of this glory hole?
agatha underwood ; bartender. blunt, cocky, manipulative, klepto -> I want someone to be the Clyde to her Bonnie, rob a bank with her, get a gun together and go full robbers music video style, give me planning out the theft in a shitty diner, give me being so in love that they’re willing to die for each other, give me seedy motels hiding out, but also give me the kind of arguing the devil would hide away from, give me accidentally killing someone and having to go on the run, give me disguises and stealing cars and just all that good shit yk?
cam fonseca ; DJ/videographer. anxious, stoner, inexperienced, awkward -> give me them trying to read whether or not someone’s flirting with them and being totally clueless, give me rich girls who are mean to them but secretly wanna be fucked by them, give me skater boy best friends who don’t know how to make the first move, give me lazily touching themselves while they watch a shit movie after getting high just because
tallulah gunn ; chef. snappy, sarcastic, teasing, career-driven -> yes chef kink confirmed give me chef sex, give me fucking in the alleyway behind the restaurant, give me her being desperately in love with her best friend and cooking him amazing meals and telling him he needs to take care of himself meanwhile she loves taking care of him and wants him to notice herrrr, give me her best friend catching her masturbating, give me her restaurant regular who always shows up after the restaurants closed so that she can cook him things off menu, give me her sucking her patisserie professors finger clean
cherilyn langley ; burlesque dancer. charming, excitable, cluttered, party girl -> being in love with the guy who works bar in the club she dances and neither of them knowing it yet, give me spontaneous date nights with tinder matches where she tries and fails to cook them a nice meal in her tiny apartment so they order pizza and sit on the roof give me cute shit give me omg fire fuck and being smitten with the man in uniform who shows up, give me locked out of her apartment and finally having to properly interact with the neighbour who always smiles at her in the elevator, but also give me best friends fucking around and finding out, give me playfights that result in her being spanked and liking it wayyy too much give me omg did you just send me a nude on accident I kind of love it, give me ugh I hate my situationship, should we just fuck?
presley alden ; horse rancher. stoner, opportunist, fun -> tbc.
lola calvo ; roller derby pro/film major. awkward, antisocial, competitive, mean -> give me hot roller skater girls who wanna break through her moody exterior, give me skater boys who would like to do the same, give me rivals in her film class where arguments turn to them kissing her and her being angry at first but then being totally into it, give me popular boy/girl being super into her and her thinking she doesn’t stand a chance
barbie kilpatrick ; fashion major. ditsy, stoner, materialistic, playful -> give me one night stands that turn into multiple night stands, give me fucking in a nightclub bathroom, give me cute alt boys she can steal weed from x give me her getting super angry at a boy she thinks has hurt her friend but it turns out to be his roommate/brother and he asks her on a date omg
eloise booth ; escort/psych major. seductive, materialistic, well travelled, smart, loyal -> give me in love with her professor, give me allllll of the sugar daddies, give me men who worship the ground she walks on and taking her to see the world and give me holiday romances
harrison abbot ; hotel heir. arrogant, obnoxious, entitled, lonely, charming -> give me tipsy kisses shared with his best friends girlfriend who he's in love with, give me Harrison drunk at your muses door feeling sorry for himself, give me rich socialites partying together and fucking in limousines, give me ways for him to show off his stupid wealth, give me pretend to be my girlfriend to appease my overbearing parents, give me sneaking around his hotel at night
fitz aldridge ; f1 driver. hyper-sexual, commitment phobic, suave, flirtatious, driven -> give me all the milfs, moms best friend, teachers, girlfriends mom, all those vibes, give me brothers girlfriend give me best friends girlfriend, like the vibes are definitely adultery, I want best friends that become sexual out of nowhere and then kind of dig it and make it a routine on their nights out until it gets uncomfortable, give me him fucking the sports reporters that interview him after a race
tobias penn ; music producer. romantic, passionate, sensitive, confident -> I want secret relationships and him getting frustrated that they have to keep it quiet because he naturally wants to show her off, give me musicians new to the industry that he helps produce but ultimately falls in love with, late nights in the studio, calling each other to discuss music all the time
ted buffet ; ranch owner. stern, grumpy, bossy, reserved, hard working -> hot girls working at his ranch that he can fuck pls, give me omg you've been teasing me for so long I'm going to fucking break and fuck the shit out of you if you don't quit it, give me him blowing off steam at a bar by fucking someone in the bathroom stalls, give me best friends daughter, give me shy sweet girls that he wants to protect but neither of them can help touching themselves while thinking of the other
waylon buffet ; ranch hand. adventurous, excitable, shy, sweet, golden retriever energy -> omg city girls, show him the world pls, drag him out of his comfort zone make him dance in a bar take his virginity get him love drunk okay I want him to be obsessed, I want him thinking your muse is going to take him to the big city, either city girls coming to the ranch to work or him getting an internship in some big firm where the bosses daughter makes his eyes pop out of his head because damn girls don't look like that back on the farm with their designer shoes and skimpy dresses
roman romero ; club owner. 'bad boy' prototype, sweet, passionate, hopeless romantic, loyal -> your muses dads will HATE him, him showing up out front on a motorbike, sneaking in through your muses window, I want virginal saints who he has to go slow with and they're so desperate for each other it hurts, give me pls just the tip baby I swear, whimpering when he sees her undress vibes, I want him to literally have no interest in anyone but her and protect her from everything, I want him to get extremely jealous of anyone who looks at her a certain way, I want him breaking someones arm for flirting with her, 'apologise to the pretty lady' vibes
ravi sidhu ; lit professor. reserved, romantic, intelligent -> tbc.
sid carpenter ; bassist. flirtatious, cocky, jealous, wild -> pls I want him to have fans that give him their panties and just completely throw themselves at him?? I want him getting public head at crazy industry parties and doing drugs off of titties, I also low-key want him dating a girl who’s just as iconic as he is?? bc pls like her getting him to wear her thong while he’s performing and having pink lace sit above leather trousers is low-key highkey sexy to me it’s very rock and roll coded okay
patrick spence ; drummer. awkward, charming, gangly, dorky, stoner -> okay same as deacon except when your muses throw themselves at him I want him blushing and geeking out, I want him to fall desperately in love with someone, I want like, him and a girl he has no romantic affiliation with watching a movie together that’s kinda sexy and then just mutually deciding they need to masturbate until did you just touch my leg?? leading to fucking each other basically, I want the hot girl at the video store he’s high key obsessed with showing up at one of his concerts and him just completely wilding, I want best friends younger sister I want popular girls who would never be caught dead with him
buzz underwood ; biker. unkind, aggressive, sleazy, offensive, dangerous -> ok but like cliche porn plots give me sons girlfriend stuck in a precarious position and him taking advantage, give me filthy things with beer bottles(oop) give me taking a girl for a ride on his bike and getting roadside head give me entitlement give me free use give me sharing her with his friends ok
connor hawthorne ; law student. psychotic, toxic, manipulative, gaslighter, emotionless, murderer/stalker -> I want toxic relationships for him, I want him to lose it a little whenever they argue I want him begging and desperate for her to come back to him when they break up I want obsession I want him to want to die for your muse but then in the same breath be like the biggest asshole to them ever all the time, I want overprotective toxic jealousy I want him to get slapped and get kinda hard over it 💀
wesley loomis ; ghostface. creepy, fucked up, 'tortured soul', shy without the mask, passionate, clumsy -> pls just give me lots of cliche ghost face plots, 90s/80s slasher vibes, summer camps, mega malls, give me muses that are kinda fucked up and find ghost face sexy oop, give me climbing in your muses window and sending them photos of Wes cutting off their panties
tanner copeland ; conman. sleazy, perverted, intimidating, smug, slick -> omg give me conman vs conwoman, he doesn't expect her to con him and then dip after they fuck so he makes it his life mission to find her and do the same but they start falling in love or in the process they accidentally kill someone and have to go on the run???? and all they do is bicker but then at night when your muse snuggles up to him, he kinda likes it
donovan o’toole ; corrupt priest/demon au. manipulative, charming, snake-tongued, actor, precise -> I'm thinking the most debauch things, spanking your muses clit with the cross , let him just manipulate your sweet muses okay like, convincing them it's okay to sin, bending them over the pews, but also like, your not so sweet muses trying to seduce him and him playing the tortured soul priest act and then all of a sudden switching on them and orgasm withdrawal and edging and rghfernjk yep, ALSO in the demon au, even more debauch and spooky!!
colt campbell ; mechanic. sleazy, perverted, gruff, solitary, self-serving -> give me sorry I can't pay vibes, give me sleazy dive bars, give me neighbours who wanna fuck him showing up on his doorstep asking for 'sugar', give me sitting on his lap while he plays poker with his friends and just like, domesticated vibes oop, but also 'guys you won't believe what a pretty pussy she's got, show my friends sweetheart'
cooper ashley ; porno director. professional sleaze, 'artist', charismatic, big daddy energy -> c a s t i n g c a l l, give me X vibes with crew members thinking they wanna be in the porno and Cooper indulging by showing them how, give me him making a girl a star in the porn industry but them being in love also???
beau ashley ; drug dealer. antisocial, smug, sarcastic, 'bad boy', I hate everything mindset -> waait ugh so like, his brother is Cooper, I'm seeing Cooper always having pornstars in the house and beau being disinterested in them because he's obsessed with this one sweet girl who works in like the local diner or something and they're super conscious because he's surrounded by supermodel level women all the time but he thinks she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen????
tomas nunez ; investigative journalist/conspiracy theorist. curious, geeky, workaholic, nervous, cute -> give me fellow journalists going on like road trips to see all the alien hot spots and report on them but also like, falling in love??? slow burn, give me women who are forward and confident and him just turning into a babbling mess because he doesn't know how to talk to women, give me stupid cliche hunting big foot shit and like, also unlocking his freaky side in an abandoned asylum or something when your muse lies in the bed and he straps them in and immediately gets hard, but also OKAY IS THIS STUPID IDK, I kind of want him to fuck a hot alien babe, because like, him teaching them everything????? idk eep
michael ostreicher ; wannabe director. dorky, playful, golden retriever, horny -> give me roommates to lovers, give me milfs, give me I shouldn't be in love with you because you're my best friends gf, give me meet cute, give me meet ugly, give me slowburn, give me bridesmaids at a friends wedding??? give me threesomes
kenzo maeda ; videographer. awkward, stoner, weirdo energy, unrealistic -> literally just give me he was a skater boy she said see you later boy vibes, popular girls who act disgusted by him in public but love him in private, give me best friends who have a crush on him and he's oblivious maybe because he's smitten by some popular blonde who hates him and the tension of him finding out and then realising the girl of his dreams has always been thereeeee idk
frankie manetti ; chef. swears all the time, short fuse, rough sex, smokes like a chimney -> yes chef kink confirmed, I kinda love the idea of milfs eating at his restaurant and then wanting to 'pay compliments to the chef' while their husband is still at the table hitting on a waitress, I want him to have a strange relationship with one of the girls who works in the restaurant, maybe his girlfriend is the waitress but him and his chef colleague share way too many looks and tender moments but then the next minute he's swearing in their face telling them that what they've cooked isn't good enough, maybe they cry and he goes to console them and they kiss and then he goes home with his waitress gf and its just like ???
silas st.james ; travel blogger. laid back, adventurous, intelligent, easily smitten -> plsssss I'm just picturing solo travellers meeting him by chance and them travelling together, falling in love and him showing her the world, but also like, him taking work at a beach club or something to fund his travelling and meeting hot moms, I want like, idk the film but they decide to get off the train together?? idk those vibes okay
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chanelfunnell · 2 years ago
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mail
A) anon yes the man in the Christmas socks and boxer shorts is Kapanen from the Pens lol he posed with his gf Matleena who is trashed by crazy Ashley aka Crosby Interesting. She goes bananas even about wags of non American unimportant played so envious if their partner and lifestyle while she sits home with obese body behind the comp...spiting bile and slut shaming behind the screen. Still crazy about Crosby and her fixation that he waits for her. Mind she's 10 yrs older than Crosby and no way Heidi Klum.
Matleena was a figure ice skater.
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B) yes anon I can post about Lindsey Vecchione and I have couple 9f her photos but they are old. She is exgf of Tazer. With a baby girl with her new partner what's the point..? I don't preach Tazer's memory lanes.
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C) anon, the best revenge and way is living your life as best as you can and be yourself...so for Megan Hevner. Yes she looks like Barbie but she works and she is smart. Yes I was surprised she is quite short and very tiny but Megan Butler looks minuscule next to her
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D) anon, I don't care souch. Marketa covers All Stars NHL game in Florida. Let's see at least bikini on her lol. She is on the mag cover in front of Sandringham and inside the house in fashion editorial about her upcoming children book. Her dogs are cute and she looks chic in tweed flat cap with a red lipstick some dresses are nice and she is very striking but the party dress, shirt and long, is superb on Caley.
E) anon, the word goes that he is on cocaine but it is not a trouble for NHL like in Europe and the ban. Sure it's abuse but s personal problem 8f the player. He was late to Detroit Red Wings summer camp apparently and so called to take a drug test. He was positive and the rest...no idea whether he got engaged with his gf I saw once with Klara Kubalik (ex Blackhawks WAG) but they posted the ring today. Maybe he's 26?
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The woman is quite flashy poser like he is but he is still talented NHLer than eraser of old photos and posting just very bragging photos of her newly luxurious life style. They will need good luck as they are not established couple like Klara and Dominik Kubalik in thin and thick and he is quite finished so huge income..
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chauffeur12 · 2 years ago
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something-tofightfor · 3 years ago
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Locked Down Part 3: The Cast
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Female Reader
Word Count: 7,514
Rating: M. Language, mentions of COVID, some alcohol references, some sex talk / relationship talk, drug use
Summary: As the start of filming draws closer, you start getting to know more of the crew members - and one of the location scouts offers you an opportunity that you can’t refuse.
When you meet someone important to Dieter, does it make things better ... or worse? 
And how will you deal with the fact that the longer you spend in his proximity, the less able to deny your attraction to the man you become? 
Author’s note:
You are too kind to me. I’m so happy that you’ve all seemed to like this take on this man so far. With the new blurb we got today from Netflix, I know that I’m a little off with my characterization - but I’m going to keep things going down this path because I’ve already committed. So I guess this is a partial AU now. 
Catch up on parts 1 and 2! 
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The day before the main cast was set to be released from isolation was a busy one for you. 
You spent the entire morning silently walking through the already built sets and rooms, documenting their appearance with both video and still images, capturing the calm before the storm. 
The green screen stage. The wardrobe rooms. Catering. Makeup and hair. Production. 
They were all empty and waiting for the arrival of the actors the following day, everything labeled and fully stocked, missing only the talent. You were thorough - making tons of notes and using your phone to record voice memos for reference, and as you sat at one of the tables in the dining hall eating your lunch, you began to organize things, figuring that it would save you time later. 
“Hey.” One of the location scouts called out your name, stopping on the other side of the table. “Guess what.” 
“Hmm?” Swallowing the final bite of your sandwich, you eyed him. “I have no -” “We’re getting out of here for a little while.” What? Food forgotten, you pushed to your feet. “They need you to do the same thing at the soundstage, too. That’s an entirely separate crew of people, so you need to take a rapid test before -” You were already looping your camera bag strap over your shoulder, lifting the remains of your lunch off of the table to toss into the trash. “It’s just a van ride into the city.” “I don’t care.” You were elated, the thought of sitting in a vehicle and driving away from the hotel for an hour or two more exciting than anything had been in weeks. “I get to see things. I get to hear new sounds, and -” The man laughed, closing his eyes. “I do need to go back to my room and grab a jacket, if that’s alright. Should probably get a spare battery, too.” Telling you to meet him in the lobby in fifteen minutes, the location scout stepped away from the table and you hurried to the elevator, heart hammering in your chest. 
The door to your room slammed behind you and you winced at the sound, letting your bag fall onto the mattress as you began to dig through the closet, searching for the jacket you hadn’t needed in weeks. As you moved, you were caught off guard by a loud knock on the wall - Dieter’s indication that he needed attention of some sort as quickly as possible. You knocked back - twice - and then made your way to the balcony, slipping the coat on as you moved.
“Everything ok? The door slammed.” He looked like he’d just woken up - his hair stood out from his head in a fluffy halo, his cheeks were covered in stubble and his outfit was what you would have called hobo chic; a pair of patterned pants and a threadbare t shirt in a color that straddled the line between purple and pink beneath the same green bathrobe he always wore. This man is worth millions of dollars and has two fucking Critics Choice Awards, a BAFTA and an Oscar, and he looks like he just rolled out of a frat house after a kegger. “Wait, why are you putting a coat on?” Dieter stepped closer, suddenly much more alert. “It’s warm here, and you’re done for the day.” Since when does he know my schedule? 
“I…” You tried to keep your expression even, not wanting to rub it in, but you couldn’t, lips spreading into a wide grin. “I get to leave, Dieter. I get to go to the main soundstage today, before any of you get there, because -” “Fucking unfair.” He groaned, smashing the heel of his hand against his face and rubbing his eye. “You gotta bag big enough to sneak me out with you?” 
“Maybe. But definitely not one big enough for that ego of yours to go, too.” He snorted at that, raising the middle finger on his free hand in a silent salute. “It’ll probably be really fast. And I have to take another test, plus wear a face shield and mask, so…” You were trying to downplay your excitement, but the truth was that you would have worn a full on Hazmat suit if it meant getting to leave the estate, even for a few minutes. “I’ll send you a picture from the car, if you want. What do you want to see? A bar? Restaurant? The set? 
“Surprise me.” He was watching you closely, a hint of a smile in his eyes. “I’m happy for you, though. You’ve been here a fuckton longer than I have, so this has to be big for you.” Assuring him that it was, you took a long breath, eyes flicking to the door. “Go. I’m sure you’re on a schedule. I have to start trying shit on, wardrobe dumped a whole ass crate of clothes on me today, and I need to make sure stuff fits.” 
“Gonna change out of that damn bathrobe for once, hmm?” He swore at you, shaking his head as he turned away, but instead of letting him go without saying anything else, you called after him. “Too bad I won’t be around to see it.” 
“Have a good time in civilization, asshole,” was all you heard before he pulled the door shut behind him once again, leaving you standing on the balcony with a smile on your face. 
It didn’t last long, though, as you realized that your fifteen minutes were close to being up - and it was time to go back to the lobby. And to freedom. Sort of. 
— 
You wouldn’t ever admit to anyone how close you’d come to crying the minute the hotel disappeared in the rearview mirror, the vehicle you were in turning down the road and toward the city center. The scout was the driver, and you were the only person in the shuttle - impractical, but necessary, according to the regulations. 
He didn’t speak much on the drive, instead turning the radio up and leaving you to stare out the window at the passing scenery, vowing to never again take traffic or a lengthy commute for granted. 
You’d been right about not needing to spend too much time in the large building, though. There were a few makeup and hair trailers in the parking lot, along with many of the same types of areas that were set up at the hotel. So you made quick work of them, sidestepping the final remaining set decorators and crew that were milling around, everyone in their PPE and focused on what they needed to do. 
You were thankful that you’d gotten out of the hotel, but you were also thankful that you’d gotten to know the layout of the soundstage before it was filled with people, because you’d never been on one as large before. It was still going to take some getting used to, but it wouldn’t be a shock the first time you stepped foot onto it during the actual shoot. It’ll help me get my job done. 
To your surprise, Dieter had sent over two different pictures while you were working, both of himself - but in different outfits. It’s his character wardrobe, you realized as you double tapped the first image to open it. He was wearing a red, puffy coat and a pair of dark jeans with hiking boots, one hand on his hip and the other holding his phone up. The other one was him in a plaid button up and a pair of khaki pants, the top fitting him well, the material’s pattern bringing out the color in his eyes. 
You typed back a reply, pointing out that the jacket was going to be perfect for the winter months, and then snapped a quick picture of the set, telling him that after being in the hotel’s rooms for so long, it felt like an arena. 
But neither of those messages were what you really wanted to say - that he looked good in both outfits, that it didn’t matter what he wore because he was always going to look great, that you couldn’t wait to see him in character and acting out the scenes he was assigned - or that it would have been more fun if he’d been there with you, making snide comments about the set decorations or the specific way that everything seemed to be meticulously organized only to go to shit the moment filming started. I’ve only known him for two weeks, and i’m not even sure we’re actually friends so that’s a no go. 
He didn’t reply, and so you tucked your phone back into your pocket, looking around for the man you’d driven over with so that you could let him know you were ready to leave. Unfortunately, you saw him through a window, the man deep in conversation in one of the production offices with an older woman. He’s going to be there a while. To pass the time, you wandered outside and into the courtyard, which was one of the approved areas on the map you’d been handed. 
What you found there stopped you in your tracks. 
You’d grown accustomed to the catering options in the hotel - gourmet style meals and snacks read and waiting at regular meal times, finger foods and buffet items while people were working. But the people here would need something too, and this … this is… Without thinking about it, you pulled your phone back out and started recording, pointing the camera at your face. “I just walked out into the courtyard, and I hit the jackpot.” Tapping on the screen, you flipped the focus around, the two trucks that were parked on the curb coming into view. “A coffee cart and a food truck. This is like I walked straight into the mall.” You flipped the camera again after zooming in on the menus and grinned. “Junk food here I come.” 
After hitting send - and making sure that the message went through - you stepped closer to the trucks, eyeing the menus and trying to convince yourself that you didn’t need to order one of everything. But before you could place your order, your phone rang, Dieter’s name on the screen. He’s gotta be so mad. You didn’t even have a chance to greet him properly after answering, and the man was speaking quickly into your ear, a plea in his voice. “I need coffee. Good coffee. And probably one of those crepes, too. And maybe a -” 
You’d never heard him sound so excited about anything, and it was all you could do to keep from laughing, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “I’ll take pictures of the menus for you, how about that? And then you can tell me what to order. It’s a little bit of a drive back to the hotel, but -” “I don’t care. Get me an iced coffee then.” Assuring him that you would, you hung up quickly and snapped two pictures, sending them over. As you waited for his response, you inched closer, squinting your eyes as you contemplated your choices. 
“Do you take debit cards? I don’t have much cash on me, so -” “Everything’s included.” The girl at the coffee truck shrugged her shoulders, using one hand to adjust her mask. “We’re here for all of the crew, so as long as you’re working on the set - there’s no charge.” Oh, shit. 
“You’re going to get very used to seeing me, then.” You laughed again, eyes going back to the menu as your phone vibrated. “And I’m going to have kind of a large order right now, as long as that’s ok, because -” “Whatever you want.” The girl gestured with one hand. “That’s why we’re here.” Opening Dieter’s message, you scanned it and then turned your attention back to the employees, making your decision. 
“Ok, so this is going to be to go, and it’s going to be two orders. The first one is …” 
— 
You knocked on Dieter’s door with the toe of one boot, both of your hands too full to use anything else. It was risky - to tempt the quarantine protocol the night before he was to be released, but you’d had no other option, except setting everything on the balcony wall. But I would have had to put everything down on the floor to unlock my door first, so… The man cracked the door open, peering around the edge of it and when he saw that it was you, he flung it wide open, moving to step into the hall and toward you, both hands outstretched. “No, dont.” Though your voice was muffled by the mask you wore, you spoke clearly. “You’ve got less than 18 hours left, Dieter. Don’t risk it.” 
“But you’ve already had it, you can’t -” Stepping backwards again, you shook your head. 
“I’m not gonna be the thing that derails this production. Either you stay in that room, or I take all of this somewhere else and -” Dutifully, he took a half step backwards, both hands held out, palms toward you. “The one without the straw is yours.” Holding out the cardboard carrier, you waited until he took it from you, the man’s fingertips just out of reach as he curled them around the cup. “I put the straw into the bag with the crepe. And there’s plastic utensils and napkins in there, too.” 
“Is the burger in there? That’s what I can’t wait for, I’ve been thinking about it for the last hour and -” “It hasn’t even been an hour, Bravo. Relax.” The paper crinkled between your fingers as you stretched your arm out toward him again. “But it’s there, yes. Toppings exactly like you asked, fries extra crispy, but I requested that they leave it off the bun so it didn’t get soggy on the drive back, so there’s an extra container.” “That’s smart.” He was eyeing you carefully, surprise written all over his features. “I wouldn’t have thought of that.” “It’s a good thing I did.” Rattling the bag gently, the man blinked and returned his focus to you, taking that from your hands, too. But that time, his hand touched yours, fingers sliding along your knuckles for a brief moment as he grabbed for the bag. That’s not allowed.  “Hope you like it. The girl at the coffee place said that they’re gonna be there the whole shoot along with regular catering, so …” “What did you get?” He frowned. “That’s a small bag.” 
“It is.” You shrugged. “What’s the point if I can’t taste anything, you know?” His face fell even further, and you quickly continued, holding up your own cup. “I got a smoothie, and I can sort of taste that it’s tart, so that’s a step in the right direction.” “It’s pink. It shouldn’t be tart. I see a strawberry in there.” 
“Strawberries are tart sometimes,” you mumbled, but Dieter only rolled his eyes. “And I got a crepe too. Chocolate spread. It’s fine. I can pretend that I can taste it.” Dieter shook his head sadly, and you gestured to the door of your room. “I should go. This still feels risky. I don’t want someone to walk up here and think I’m -” 
“Thank you.” He swallowed hard, completely focused on you. “Sometimes you just need grease, you know? Can’t all be lean meat and vegetables.” 
“You’re very welcome. But if you don’t fit in your wardrobe, I had nothing to do with it.” He laughed at that, winking at you. “Have a good night, Dieter.” He replied with the same, and with your newly free hand, you unlocked your door, glancing over to see that he was still standing in his, watching you. “What?” He didn’t speak, which gave you a few seconds to look at him - taking in the man’s outfit, which was finally different - a pair of dark pajama pants and a gray t shirt, the thin fabric clinging to him in a way that the worn out one never had. Stop. Stop it. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Pushing away from the door frame, he nodded once. “I hope you’re ready for the circus.” You didn’t know how to respond, so you didn’t - stepping into your room once he’d disappeared into his. What does that even mean? 
You had an earlier than usual call time, but the day was marked to be a short one - you only needed to be there to document part of the cast’s initial meeting, since the rest of their day would be spent getting to know each other, which you didn’t need to be present for. During that time, you’d be attending a class with the rest of the crew while it happened so that all of you could get on the same page when it came to set etiquette and expected COVID compliance protocols.  
Actual filming wouldn’t begin for another few days, the remainder of that first week being used for wardrobe fittings, table reads and makeup tests, and you were supposed to flit between trailers and actors while that happened. It almost seemed too easy, but you were hesitant to say it out loud, because you knew that the moment you did, everything would change. Like clockwork. That’s what always happens. 
Determined to enjoy the final night before the real work began you flopped onto your stomach on the bed, flipping through channels as you finished your smoothie - and then started on the crepe. Neither were quite tasteless, but the awareness of different flavors dissipated with every bite, and it discouraged you. What if it never comes back? What if I can never taste anything ever again? You thought back to the way that Dieter had given you his robe and told you to inhale only to smell nothing, the way you’d woken up the first morning and been unable to taste your orange juice or smell the grass beneath your balcony. That’d be miserable. I’d be miserable if this was permanent.
Convincing yourself that that wouldn’t be the case, you settled in on a rerun of one of your favorite sitcoms, finally letting your mind wander - and letting the reality of your situation sink in. I’m going to be working on a movie set for the next three months, and that whole time I’m going to share a wall with Dieter Bravo. 
You grinned at the thought, reaching over to pick up your phone. In the two weeks he’d been your neighbor, you’d learned a lot about him from the conversations you’d had, but also from looking up interviews and general information. A lot of it was rumors - scandals that had been barely covered up like secret trips to rehab - but there was a lot of truth there, too. 
What he did in his spare time was of no concern to you. You knew that his Hollywood lifestyle was likely much different than the one you led, and had no reason to judge him for it or any habits he’d developed throughout the years. But I just wonder what I’m in for when we can all move around this place freely… from him and the others.
As the only non-actor in the wing you were staying in, you figured that you’d hear and see your fair share of things during the shoot, which accounted for the NDAs that you’d had to sign, but that didn’t bother you, either. It’ll be fun. You had no allusions about the casual friendship you’d struck up with Dieter lasting post-isolation period. In fact, you figured that the longer things went on, the less you’d see him off set, despite being right next door. And that’s fine. I don’t expect anything else. 
You scrolled through the man’s social media for a few minutes, hitting like on the two newest pictures he’d posted (one a throwback of filming Hunger Strike and the other a shot from his balcony looking out at the grounds of the hotel) and then - out of morbid curiosity - going to his ex Mara’s page. She was dating someone new, it looked like, and she seemed happy, but with only a few minutes of research, you found that her new boyfriend was about to release an album with his band. Figures. 
No matter what the truth was - whether or not Dieter was truly egotistical or it was an act, or if the relationship had been casual on both ends or not, the emergence of the text messages on gossip websites out of nowhere had been less than he’d deserved. No one deserves that. You found them again quickly, feeling your anger grow as you read through the woman’s words on the screen. 
No. It’s not serious. Only staying with him if he wins this award. Been my plan the whole time, he’s fucking insufferable - and old. Need someone my own age.
You didn’t know how he’d managed it, or if he’d had anything to do with it, but Mara had been dropped from her next movie shortly afterward, and with that, lost out on any chance of working with two major studios for the foreseeable future. No matter what the truth was, Dieter had clout within the industry, and that meant that there were people that were loyal to him and had no reason to promote someone that had been disloyal to him in such a public way. He’s had a long enough career, so it makes sense. 
But what didn’t make sense was the man signing on for a role in a franchise like Cliff Beasts when he had no connection to any of the first movies or the other actors. That was something that you wanted to ask him about if you got the chance, and you wondered how candid he’d be with you when - and if - he answered. The TV still droning on in the background, you kept scrolling, getting lost in random websites and linked social media profiles. 
When you decided to take a break to stretch your fingers out, you realized that it was after midnight. Oh shit. Groaning and then setting the phone down to sit up on the bed, you raised your arms above your head to stretch your back, too. I need to go to sleep. I have to be up early, and … fuck. “I just spent three hours going down the Dieter Bravo rabbit hole and there’s no fucking reason…” Covering your face with both hands, you steadied yourself with a few deep breaths. 
There was a reason, though, even if you weren’t ready to admit it out loud. At that realization you climbed out of the bed and stepped toward the balcony, phone held in your hand. You weren’t expecting Dieter to be outside - instead, you were hoping that he wasn’t, because you were in no mood to talk to him. I let myself get too close, you admitted as you flipped through to your camera, backing up and against the railing so that the illuminated top of the building and some of the moonlit clouds were visible in the frame. Let him charm me, and now look at me … I’m scrolling through his Instagram at midnight like a fucking fangirl. 
But it being so late also worked in your favor, and so you pushed your thoughts of Dieter and the way you felt about that situation to the side, instead focusing on what you could see in front of you. It was tradition for you - the night before starting a new job, you always took and posted a picture of your next assignment as a record of the start date. Even though you’d technically already started work, the following day was the first real day of production on Cliff Beasts 6, which meant it was time to take the photo. No reason to break from the norm. As you typed out a caption for the picture, you rolled your neck from side to side, chewing on your lower lip. You couldn’t give anything away, and so you chose something simple; the words ‘day one’ and the video camera emoji - and then posted. 
You stood there for a few more minutes, eyes on the sky, and then took another deep breath, imagining the way that the cooling autumn air in the English countryside would smell. It’s just a job, and you’re going to have fun. Nodding to yourself, you headed back inside without looking anywhere but at your room. If you had, you would have seen Dieter standing on his own balcony, watching you with a lopsided smile on his face and both hands stuffed into the pockets of his bathrobe. 
— 
The next two days were a whirlwind, and you kept busy for far longer than you’d thought you would during each of them. The cast were cordial to you, especially after you were introduced by the production manager to the entire room, instructions given that while you weren’t going to interfere with the shoot, you had access to all of the public areas at all times - so they should get used to seeing you and at the same time, pretend you weren’t there for the most part. 
As you made it through the morning, you heard Dieter talking with various people, catching snippets of his conversations while you moved through the room. You weren’t honing in on him, but he was loud, the way he spoke much different than the man you’d talked to for the previous two weeks. 
You made it a point to spend a few minutes with each of the main cast on the first day, though. Carol and Krystal were overly cheerful, while Lauren was a little more laid back. Dustin, Howie and Sean were all nice, but you could tell that they were wary of you and what you’d be filming. That’s fine. I’ll make it work. 
It was vanity, and you knew it. They all wanted to be sure that when you captured them on camera, you got the best parts of them, but that was fine. They’ll try hard for a couple weeks and then relax. None of them will be able to keep appearances up for an entire shoot. 
You saved Dieter for last, not wanting to interrupt him while he talked to his new co-stars, and when it was his turn, the conversation you got shocked you - as did the way it was delivered. “So it’s day one of the pandemic shoot, Mr. Bravo.” He had his arms crossed over his chest, head cocked to one side. “What are you hoping for from this whole experience?” 
“I’m hoping that I don’t have to work too hard.” He grinned, pushing the glasses up on his nose. “I’m hoping that I get along with the cast, even though I’ve never worked with any of ‘em before.” He leaned in, raising an eyebrow. “I’m also hoping that I can have some fun while I’m here now that I’m not trapped in my room anymore.” He used one hand to gesture around, lifting his shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. “We’ll see. My hopes aren’t that high. But it should be a good time” 
You talked for a few more minutes, and you were stunned that Dieter somehow managed to say nothing throughout the whole thing, the man cutting the interview short when Carol and Dustin walked by, the redhead calling out to him while waving him over. Dieter yelled back that he’d be there in a minute, thumbing in your direction as an explanation. Ouch. As you put the camera down, Dieter said your name softly, drawing your attention. 
You watched the expression on his face changing, the mask slipping slightly for a few moments, and then he spoke again, the words so quiet that you almost didn’t hear them. “You’re doing great. I’m sorry.” Before you could reply, though, he’d turned away from you, chasing after the other two and immediately launching into conversation with Dustin, his hands gesturing wildly. What the fuck was that about? 
You didn’t see him that night, even though you heard him get back to his room at around midnight, his door slamming shut and startling you from the short stack of papers you were leafing through as you typed notes into your computer. If he went outside, he didn’t make any noise, and by the time you were ready to lay down, he had his TV turned up, the sound carrying to your ears both through the wall and the slight opening in your balcony doors. 
You ate breakfast in catering the following morning, wanting to be done before most of the cast and crew were in for the day, but just as you were getting up, Krystal walked in, phone in hand. She beelined it to you, a mask hanging over one ear, and even though you scrambled to put yours back on before she was too close, she waved you off. ‘No. We’re all fine. I just wanted to ask you a favor.” A favor? I don’t even know you. But you nodded, waiting to see what she’d ask. “Um, I’m pretty big on Tik Tok, so I’m always trying to find good stuff to film, right?” 
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard.” She grinned, tucking her hair behind her ear. 
“Well if you get anything good of me, like when I’m on set or if I’m in the makeup trailer, can you let me know? I’m not really allowed to post much now, but it might be good for later, when we promote. And I thought -”
“I’m not using my phone to record on set.” You gestured to the camera bag that was on the table. “And all of the BTS stuff is supposed to be turned over to the people that will edit it down for the documentary.” She frowned. “But, yes. I watch things at night, just skimming, and if I find anything that I think would work, I can send it over, especially if it’s just a few seconds long.” 
“Thank you!” She beamed at you, raising her eyebrows. “You probably think it’s really stupid but without my account I wouldn’t even be here now, and I just … gotta stay on brand, right?” Right. She thanked you again and then turned to walk toward the tables where the food was, typing furiously on her phone again. Speaking of staying on brand… 
Dieter was walking into the dining room, a mask covering his mouth and nose as he spoke to a young woman wearing a face shield. You hadn’t ever seen her before, and figured that she was likely the assistant he’d mentioned, the man finally able to talk to her in person after two weeks. His eyes scanned the room and though they landed on you, he made no indication that he’d seen you, instead touching the woman’s arm and pointing at the food before pointing at his watch and then his body. 
She gave him a good-natured smile and then the two of them turned away from you and toward the food, loading their plates. Finished with your own meal, you cleaned your place and then headed out of the dining room, trying to decide where the first location was that you’d shoot for the day. The wardrobe rooms were the obvious choice, and so you turned down one hallway, following signs. 
It was an interesting process - watching the crew attempt to do their jobs while maintaining distance, and you lost count of the number of times one of the women tried to stick pins between her lips for safekeeping while she hemmed pants for Dustin and the sleeves of a shirt for Lauren. 
The same was true in the hair and makeup areas, which were set up in one of the smaller ballrooms, separated with curtains between each station for more privacy and social distancing convenience. Things were less frantic there, even though there were more people - the stylists themselves and assistants, the cast filing in and out as it was their turn, people sticking Polaroid photos into binders and others in the corners of mirror frames for future reference. 
You missed Dieter in both locations, deciding to go back onto the actual set and see what was going on there - and that’s where you found him, sitting at a small circular table with the same woman from earlier, his mask pushed down around his chin as he sipped on a cup of coffee. That time, he called your name, waving you over. 
Shouldering your camera, you made your way  to the table, checking to ensure that your mask was in place. “Hey, Mr -” “Dieter. Come on. You’ve been my next door neighbor for two weeks. We’re on a first name basis.” He raised an eyebrow, taking another sip. “Wanted you to meet my assistant, Jenna. You’re probably going to hear a lot of her coming in and out of my room.” You didn’t know how to take that - and the way he said it didn’t help matters, but you said hello and introduced yourself, the woman giving you a wide smile and raising her hand in a wave.
“It’s not like I’m monitoring your life, Dieter. I don’t keep track of what you’re doing in your room 24/7.” The woman snorted quietly, her eyes back on her phone. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”  He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted as another member of the crew stepped behind you, saying his name. 
“One of the hotel employees has a message for you Mr. Bravo. I told her you were busy, but she said it was urgent.” You stepped to the side, Dieter’s attention going from you and  to the people behind you - a younger man and the blonde from the front desk. Anika. 
“Yeah?” He reached up, thumb and forefinger gripping his earlobe. “It’s fine, I’m just sitting here.” The blonde stepped closer, hands clasped together in front of her body. You watched as he eyed her, waiting. 
“There was a delivery for you, Mr. Bravo. The courier that dropped it off said that it was urgent, and that it needed to be taken to your room right away. But you requested that we not clean your room today, and I didn’t know if -” His eyes lit up, the man breaking into a wide grin as he flattened his palms on the table. 
“Yeah, definitely. Put it in my room. I’ve been waiting for it. You’re a fuckin’ livesaver, Anika” His  eyes flicked over to you and then back to Anika, who was smiling broadly, her cheeks flushed from the slight bit of praise. “I -” “We need to go, Dieter.” His assistant tucked her phone away, giving the man a pointed look. “You’re up in a couple minutes, and we know how slow your ass is when you don’t want to do something.” Stifling a laugh at that by turning it into a cough, you took another step back. Well at least his assistant knows how to handle him well. As they both stood, you noticed a definite change in Dieter’s mood - the man notably happier, thanking the blonde again before heading toward the doorway. “Hey.” Jenna turned to look at you, warmth in her eyes. “Don’t let him fool you. He’s not really -” “Jenna!” Dieter was waiting with one hand on the door handle, his other hand on his hip. “We’ve gotta go!” The woman laughed, rolling her eyes. 
“And to think my husband was worried about me taking this job because he thought Dieter was gonna be an asshole… or try to hit on me.” You laughed with her and then watched as the two of them disappeared, leaving you with Anika and the other crew member. 
But they didn’t stick around long, and once they were gone, you decided to leave too, after scanning the room for anything that looked like it would make good media. There’s no one in here. Nothing to see. 
Your day ended soon after that, and after dropping your stuff off in your room and changing clothes, you decided to take a walk around the grounds to decompress. There were few people around, meaning that everything was quiet, and the end of your walk led you back to the area beneath your balcony, retracing the steps that Colin and the other groundskeepers took. “You look cold.” Eyes moving upward, you saw Dieter leaning against his railing, staring down at you. “Should have worn a better coat.” 
“I should have.” You agreed, squinting up at him in the fading light. “You’re dressed up.” It was true - he was in a light colored button down shirt, though the top few were undone, his hair messy bust somehow less messy than usual, and he wasn’t wearing his glasses. 
“Cast dinner tonight. The official ice breaker.” He rolled his eyes. “Good excuse to drink some expensive wine and relax.” Ah. That makes sense. “Are you supposed to come and film?” 
“I don’t know.” Shrugging up at him you wet your lips. “No one ever -” “You should.” He nodded, checking his watch. “If you come up now you can get your stuff.” “Dieter, I’m not cast. This isn’t -” “You don’t need to stay, but don’t you think that getting all of us in the same room at the same time is necessary?” Yeah, probably, but … “And I’m inviting you.” He was right - it would be good footage, and you could frame it as a comparison between the beginning of the shoot and the end. He’s smart. 
“Yeah. Alright. That’s a good idea.” Dieter smiled again, still leaning over to look at you, but he didn’t say anything else. “See you in a few minutes.” 
— 
A little more than an hour later, you were back in your room, sitting on the edge of your bed with your camera next to you. You’d kept it together during the time you were in the opulent dining room with the cast, but as soon as you’d closed the door to your room behind you, you’d lost it, the tears rolling down your cheeks. 
Some of the cast had been happy to have you there from the beginning, but it had taken some convincing from Dieter on the part of the others, the man waving off your presence as a necessary thing - and framing it in a way that made your nose wrinkle in disgust. 
“Come on, guys. If she films this, it’s a good way to show the people that watch it that from the beginning we were on board with all of this.” He’d waved his hands around, rolling his eyes. “We’re like one big fuckin’ family already or some shit.” The man paused, lifting a wine glass to hs lips and taking a long drink. “Control the narrative, am I right?” 
Lauren was the first to speak, rolling her eyes hard. “Bravo’s got a point. They’ll see what we want them to see. And you know what that is?” Carol leaned back in her chair, propping her head up with one hand. 
“Us being fake as fuck?” Everyone laughed at that, but you felt eyes on you, almost like people were waiting to see what you said in reply. “Us pretending like we aren’t already over this? Like this isn’t weird as shit? What if she says something?”
“She signed a couple NDAs, actually.” Dustin drained his wine glass, the man’s eyes boring into you. “So she can’t.” 
“Exactly!” Dieter gestured again, nudging you with his elbow. “Just make us look good,  make sure everyone fucking loves us and that’s all that matters.” 
The rest of the time you’d been in the room with them - only about twenty minutes - had been rough, every single one of them plastering fake smiles on their faces, their words and actions exaggerated as they pretended like they’d known each other for years. As their meal started to arrive, you decided it was time to go, thanking them for letting you spend a couple of minutes with all of them, and then you’d disappeared back into the hallway, hurrying past the two concierge employees at the bar in the back corner of the room and heading straight for your bedroom. 
You’d expected it - all of them to be fake to an extent, but you hadn’t known just how much they’d turn it on for the cameras, how easy it would be for them to craft personas for themselves to suit their own needs and egos. Bet it isn’t at all hard for Dieter since he’s been doing this for years. The footage was good - but it wasn’t real, and if it was any indication, you were in for a long few months. Or at least until they decide it’s not important to focus on that type of behavior anymore. 
Wiping the tears from your face, you stood up and went into the bathroom, deciding that a long, hot shower was your best option for a distraction. 
— 
It had helped. You felt much better after exiting the small, steamy room, getting dressed in your pajamas and pulling on a bathrobe of your own - one provided by the hotel. Instead of watching TV, you flipped through the pages of a book, with the breeze from outside blowing in through the open doors. It didn’t take long for you to get lost in the story, eyes scanning the pages as you devoured the content. 
A loud, harsh cough startled you some time later, your eyes going to the balcony. What;s going on? When it came again a few moments later you sat up, putting the book down and heading outside. “Dieter? You alright?” 
He was sitting in one of the chairs on his side of the wall, but he’d dragged it closer to the railing so that he could lean back, propping his feet up. “I’m fine.” He coughed again, though, turning his head to look at you - and for the first time, you realized that he was holding a joint in one hand, pinched between his fingers. “Figured you’d be out here sooner, this shit smells -” “Still can’t smell, remember?” You tapped your nose before wrinkling it. “And maybe that’s a good thing, because -” 
“Well then I’m glad you heard me cough.” He raised it to his lips and inhaled, closing his eyes. “Gettin’ kind of lonely out here.” You had no idea what time it was - or how long he’d been outside, but based on what he was wearing, you didn’t think it had been long. He’d be cold otherwise. The man was still dressed in what he’d had on for dinner, though his feet were bare and there was another button undone, exposing more of his chest. “Been two weeks since I’ve had anything to smoke, and the shit over here doesn’t fuck around.”
“How’d you get that in here?” Pulling the robe tighter over your body, you crossed your arms. “And -” “That delivery from earlier.” He grinned, coughing quietly. “That’s why I got so fuckin’ excited. Sean knows someone here, and he hooked me… well, a lot of us, up with some stuff.” Makes sense. “Been looking forward to it all goddamn day.” He was doing it again - drawing you back in and showing you what you were almost positive was the real Dieter Bravo. But why only behind closed doors? “D’you wanna smoke?” He held the joint out to you and then swore, pulling it back. “No, you can’t. Stupid to ask because we can’t share it, since that’d be like kissing each other and that’s not allowed.” No, it’s not allowed, but I wish it was. 
He rolled his eyes as he spoke, taking another short hit and immediately releasing it. Your heart was pounding as you tried to decide whether or not you were going to respond. Do I need to? He already answered the question for himself, so… You didn’t smoke often - but you’d done so in the past, both with friends at home and while on assignment, partaking in the local offerings when the opportunity came up. I don’t know what my lungs would do with it now, especially after being sick. But the fact that he’d even offered spoke volumes to you, because he hadn’t needed to. 
“Well?” Dieter wet his lips, eyes on your face. “I can roll you a separate one if you want. Be our little secret.” 
“I…” Covering your face with one hand, you thought about it. Fuck it. “Yeah. Why not?” You grinned at him, lowering your hand. “Not everyday that Dieter Bravo asks me to smoke with him, so… sure.” The man was on his feet almost as soon as you replied, carefully putting out his joint on the railing before tucking the remnants behind his ear. 
“Give me five minutes.” He winked and then walked away from you, heading back into his room without bothering to close the door behind him. I’m definitely going to see and hear some things during this shoot. 
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sisitrip · 2 years ago
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Ivan's Hop(e)ak
We happen upon Ivan, our indefatigable romantic, impatiently waiting in the wings for his chance to take a certain someone's (Ian) blood pressure to levels requiring medical attention. Das comrades. He's on some next level shit.
But fret not, for our Russian rival is micro-dosing on his plans to dazzle his Ukrainian love-muffin with fashionable elegance and above all ... dance. *jazz hands*
Let's look closer and share in this moment with the thirstiest, the most bombastic, the utterly, dare I say, shameless Russki ever to grace the great landscape of love.
____________________________________
“Baby boy you stay on my mind…”
He sings softly to himself as he edits the video, growing excited by the prospect of his raven-haired love seeing it. 
“Fulfill my  fantasies …”
Eager, he crops the video to a nine second test run. Maybe he will share the outtake with Mikhailo in the fiery remains of his bed after another Olympian bout of lovemaking.
“I think about you all the time …”
He grins as the clip plays. The lighting is perfect. His outfit is the latest from Russia, retro-60s chic. The double-knit has him looking so bounce-a-nickel tight, how could his little spider monkey resist climbing him in lust? It is a certainty.
“I see you in my dreams …”
He sets up the TikTok post, befuddled by this new way of wooing. Drugs and the offer of sex are passé now? There must be dancing? Synch-lipping? It is all too much. Yet, his Mikhailo is worth it. 
“Baby boy, not a day goes by without my fantasies …”
He unthinkingly hits the “Post Now” button with an unseeing grin. The screen flashes “Successfully Uploaded.”
He blanches and shoots up in horror.
“Yebena mat’!”
Hopak - Ukrainian folk dance
Yebena mat' - Holy shit!
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thatbitchsimone · 3 years ago
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every time they want to drug test me (aka want my piss) they go on and on about how they know im not doing drugs and would never suspect me of that and its just standard procedure and i know ur not like that etc etc etc and every time i just wanna look them dead in the eye and say ”im literally on heroin rn” bc like dont just assume someone is not a junkie bc of how they look like its kinda rude like just bc im not giving u heroin chic jamie king vibes doesnt mean i cant be shooting up heroin every morning like i can do anything i can be anything if u can dream it u can do it
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